Tis the Season to…Shop!

I always marvel at those people who have the ability, inclination and energy to shop early for Christmas. When I hear someone say, “I’ve been finished my Christmas shopping for months” (with a bit of a sneer I might add), my heart starts beating wildly, I break into a sweat and my eyes glaze over. I then quickly reassure myself that I too can be finished my shopping before Christmas arrives if I get really organized and adopt some of the practices employed by the shopping elite.

I take the sacred Pro Shopper vow that “I will be the brilliant and admired shopper that everyone else emulates. Calm, cool, purposeful, smiling, looking chic, yet experienced in my attire and footwear, while I manage to effortlessly haul my many perfect gifts for the lucky many on my list.

Ya, right. Maybe that’s why I put it off till the last minute every year. I get paralyzed with unrealistic expectations of finding those perfect gifts. So at the last minute I race around looking frazzled and unkempt, buying whatever catches my eye in an approximate size (if it doesn’t fit him, it will fit her). For some reason I tend to be attracted to bulkier items, which I then drag through the mall as I cajole myself for wearing too many clothes for this expedition (aren’t you supposed to layer for such physical activities?)

Just writing this I’m beginning to feel my pulse increase. “Friday, this Friday, can I do it all? I’m sure I can!” says the overconfident, naïve, positive, self talker. “Yes, I will hit the mall upon opening and vacate it before the masses descend. I know exactly which stall I will park in. I will wear my comfy walking boots and leave my coat in the car, wearing suitable layers so that I can strip down to my sports bra and gym shorts if necessary when the lugging gets to be too strenuous. I will schedule snack breaks and caffeine injections as well as note potty stops on my prioritized map, which shows stops and points of interest, cross referenced with my purchase plan.

I am Woman. I shall reign supreme as shopper extraordinaire! And when I’m truly done (and done in) I will bask in the glory of the season. Because once I have found that perfect gift and finished the wrapping I really do start to get excited about the giving; anticipating the reaction of that special someone when they open my gift on Christmas morning. “Aah Ma, you’re the best!” Yup, that’s me.

All the best to you and your family, from me and mine this holiday season. And remember…. layers, sports bra, potty stops, map, chic yet….

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  • Adela

    LOL!! Lori, you are absolutely hilarious. This blog post cracked me up 😀

    Happy shopping to you!!

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